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Just Lay it Down

Just Lay it Down

There is much to be understood about the unconsciousness of daily life.  Going from thing to thing, moving automatically.  Sometimes, what can be seen as the most upsetting incident can provide the greatest vision, and through that, with awareness turned towards it, healing happens.

Take the story of the two monks on a sojourn in the mountains.  Neither are allowed contact with women, it is forbidden to them.  They see a woman struggling up the steep hill with a bundle of firewood, and the younger monk stoops to pick her and her load up, and proceeds to carry her to the hilltop where he puts her down.  The second monk does not comment, and seems distant and angry.  The first monk asks him if all is well, and the second eventually says that he is angry because the first monk touched a woman, carried her up the hill.

The first monk replies, “Yes, it is so, but then, I put her down, and I see you are still carrying her.”

When we turn our attention to the unseen yet heavy burdens we carry, we too, have that choice to lay it down.  Those burdens we have carried for so long seem like a part of ourselves, and we have become accustomed to their weight.  Only with the realisation that we are carrying an unnecessary weight and also that we have the choice to lay it down, are we able to laugh about it as we throw of the shackles of that particular thing we picked up somewhere along the way.

I once met an adult man who had carried the burden of the neglect of his father all of his life.  Anything that had not gone well in his life was laid at the door of the now deceased father.  The finger of blame pointed ever outward, but it was in acknowledging that fist which held the pointed finger also pointed three fingers back at him that finally provoked a change.  Small at first, and larger later.  Small in the realisation that his life was his own creation, and larger that forgiveness of the father meant forgiveness of the self.

There is often fear in forgiving the self, since the rational mind says, “Well, ah, but, however.. if you forgive yourself, you might as well go on and do it (whatever the transgression was) again!”, and it continues on in this same vein with an apocryphal warning, a clarion call to “beware yourself!”, and the mind twists itself up ever tighter in worry about “what if?”.  If I let this go, who will I be?  What will I be without my neuroses?  They make up who I am! “

In letting go these things by bringing attention to them, the deeper self gets a chance to emerge.  “Step off the top of the mountain, “it says, “and I will catch you, but you must trust me first.”

The lack of trust is borne out of the body of evidence against trusting instinct.  Trusting the deeper self is seen as irresponsible, for if everyone did that, no one would go to work, and…and…

The truth of it lies within each individual, their own truth that is, and that is about the deepest desires to become what we were supposed to be in the first place.  And what is that?  This is my question for you, today.

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